Qualities in Relationships

There are many qualities in relationships that make them so special. We are all drawn to people for many different reasons. Understanding, sense of humor, like-mindedness, sarcasm, empathy, trustworthiness, creativity, attraction, passion, honesty, respect, ect ect. There are many different   reasons friendships form. Some of those are based on what you have in common or on your proximity to the person. Relationships also go through ups and downs. Some have more bumps in the road than others, but regardless, the ability to forgive and forget is a very endearing quality in a friendship that many truly appreciate. For me, the most endearing qualities are  honesty and trustworthiness. with acquaintances mistaking them for a close friend. So how do we survive the labyrinth of friendships? Who can we truly trust? "There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother" Pr 18:24! Closer than a brother is pretty darn close! Listen to this!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esTepjri3Lw

This has changed over the years, I used to think that the most important quality was like-mindedness. Then I began to see that not everyone is going to have the same opinion as me. I had to be ready to see things from many other perspectives as a part  of appreciating and kindling relationships. Going back to honesty, sometimes I am TOO honest. Sometimes I say something that could really hurt someone's feelings if they took it the wrong way in my quest for honesty. In the end, though, I would rather have someone be totally honest

 then  to go on being deceived into thinking the wrong thing. Same goes for trustworthiness. if I have been totally honest, then I need to trust that person to value what I have shared as important and worthy of keeping the trust alive and well. I think this is the part that defines what kind of friendship it is. Acquaintance? Close Friend? or a "Like family" kind of friend? The problem is many of us get confused with these definitions, and trust becomes a thing we just hope for.

Memory Lane:

Now the Song link above takes me to memory lane, with the best singer/partner and friend that I have  in the whole world (in my humble opinion ha ha ha) Guess who it is? Ha! Those who know me know who it is.. wait for it..
 This guy right here.. for those who do not know.. he is my husband.!!

The honesty and trust in this relationship with Eugene Richard Hidalgo (Rick) is bar none the most pure and real that I have on this earth! We know EVERYTHING about each other, our weaknesses, secrets, strengths, hopes,  dreams, and  disappointments. Of all those relationship qualities mentioned above,  he never lets me down in the area of honesty and trust. If I want to know the truth on a matter, he will give me the total honest truth (no matter how honest, we have enough trust to be able to roll with it). We have had the honesty and trust  in our relationship attacked several times, and we withstood the tests and trials; each time it only  made us stronger.

Summary of our Relationship

 It started off years ago as a total infatuation. I was in love with his voice. The first time I heard him, I was in a laundry mat doing my own laundry, it was a pretty echoey room with great acoustics! We sang hymns and finished our laundry. (I never forgot it; even though  we still were not friends for a couple of years). Still, I  would go to every one of his concerts in College with the male chorale; even when we were not dating, I was a big fan! He was so animated on stage! Whatever he did, he did it with excellence. When we finally started dating, we would sit in the piano room at school writing songs and singing songs every single day. If we were not singing, we were sitting in Sub Way debating Biblical topics until the wee hours of the morning. (This should have been my first clue that like-mindedness was not always possible). We still love a good debate, by the way. As a married couple, we started off so full of dreams; we served the Lord together in all that we did! But when those dreams were dashed over and over again, I took a wrong turn in my appreciation for who God made him.  Instead of seeing him as he was, I spent years being dissatisfied. Upset because he was "too heavenly minded to be any earthly good".  But the word of God clearly states "Set your minds on things above " - so I have come full circle now and though like-mindedness would be the ideal thing to have in a relationship, I have come to value honesty and  trust more than anything.(And to be honest, we probably have more like-mindedness going on than I realise or admit to)

P.S.  I will always have an infatuation with his voice!! xoxo

P.S.S. Jesus is first. :-) the friend that sticks closer than a brother 

If you have found someone you can trust and be totally honest with, you have a treasure!

What qualities Do you think are important in a relationship, be it a friendship. a marriage, or even a colleague?

Thank you for reading my "ponderings",

Ruth A. Hidalgo

(Circa:June 17,1995)